Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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