he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How many fucks given?
0.12846
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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