i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
