he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
