Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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