You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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