my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
