Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
smell my finger.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
