He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize