Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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