I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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