Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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