it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
