i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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