bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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