And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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