I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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