It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
