1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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