it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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