god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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