Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
