Just fell off a train. Bad.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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