dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
