Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
