so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
