Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
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