My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Randomize