he shaved USA in his pubs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
