Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
