im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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