There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
