My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
