he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
