I just saw a hot homeless man
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
