Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
