we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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