please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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