She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
