I showed him my bush... on skype.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
