grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
