4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
