i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
