the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
