All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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