thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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