Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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