Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Randomize
