if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
