I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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