she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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