you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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