Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Randomize
