Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
