i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
