woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
