so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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