are you so shy because you have an std?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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