i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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