I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
