dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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