How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
